No Great Expectations
I got the papers from Erie County in the mail yesterday. The information they sent (which she said she couldn't fax to me) consisted of 6 pieces of paper. Granted, they were stapled together, but how long would it have taken to take the staple out and fax them? Anyway...
I filled it all out, wrote the check for $150, and sent it in today. From what the information they sent me says, they are going to try to track her down and ask her if they can share her contact information with me. I included my contact information for them to share with her. I also had to write the reason I wanted to contact her, and this is the reason they are going to give to her. I'm sorry, is it weird or unnatural to want to contact your mother? Can't I just want to contact her because I want to? But, something about those forms feels like a test, like I'm being evaluated, and if I write the wrong thing (like "I want to see someone who looks like me" or "I want to know if she remembers my birthday or not") they'll just throw away my forms as soon as they read them. So I wrote something about medical information and wanting to be able to write her a letter.
I'm almost afraid that it is all going to happen too quickly. What if she is really easy to locate and they find her next week and call me with her info? I guess that I always put the thought of finding my mom off in the distance, and now that it could really happen in the not-so-distant future, it is kind of scary. I'm still not sure that I actually believe she's a real person. Like I said before, she's always been like a character in a story to me, a made up part of my imagination or something. I don't have the slightest idea what I would even say to her.
I also don't know how the whole situation works as far as sharing contact information. Will the people at the court house call me first to tell me that they gave her my info? Or am I just going to get a random phone call at some really inopportune time and place and it will be her? I feel like I'm going to be caught off guard and every time the caller ID displays a long distance number, I'm going to freak out. So this weekend, I'm going to write a letter to help me collect my thoughts so that if she actually does call me someday, I have something to say besides "The weather here is great!"
The whole situation is a little stressful and a little exciting all at the same time. I'm doing my best to keep my expectations low so that I'm not disappointed.
I filled it all out, wrote the check for $150, and sent it in today. From what the information they sent me says, they are going to try to track her down and ask her if they can share her contact information with me. I included my contact information for them to share with her. I also had to write the reason I wanted to contact her, and this is the reason they are going to give to her. I'm sorry, is it weird or unnatural to want to contact your mother? Can't I just want to contact her because I want to? But, something about those forms feels like a test, like I'm being evaluated, and if I write the wrong thing (like "I want to see someone who looks like me" or "I want to know if she remembers my birthday or not") they'll just throw away my forms as soon as they read them. So I wrote something about medical information and wanting to be able to write her a letter.
I'm almost afraid that it is all going to happen too quickly. What if she is really easy to locate and they find her next week and call me with her info? I guess that I always put the thought of finding my mom off in the distance, and now that it could really happen in the not-so-distant future, it is kind of scary. I'm still not sure that I actually believe she's a real person. Like I said before, she's always been like a character in a story to me, a made up part of my imagination or something. I don't have the slightest idea what I would even say to her.
I also don't know how the whole situation works as far as sharing contact information. Will the people at the court house call me first to tell me that they gave her my info? Or am I just going to get a random phone call at some really inopportune time and place and it will be her? I feel like I'm going to be caught off guard and every time the caller ID displays a long distance number, I'm going to freak out. So this weekend, I'm going to write a letter to help me collect my thoughts so that if she actually does call me someday, I have something to say besides "The weather here is great!"
The whole situation is a little stressful and a little exciting all at the same time. I'm doing my best to keep my expectations low so that I'm not disappointed.
posted by everyscarisabridge at 6:29 PM
2 Comments:
I don't imagine that you will just get a call from her first out of the blue. She will most likely get a call from the agency and then after they speak to her they will probably call you back to let you know if she wants contact.
When the agency found me for my son, they called him shortly after they found me. Then they had to wait for waivers, consent for contact form to come back signed from me. After that they gave us both the contact info. But, they told me when he would call. I imagine that is standard procedure hopefully.
I will be having good thoughts for you that they find her and that she is as thrilled as I was for contact! The waiting is crazy-making though.
All the feelings that you are sharing are so normal though - I hope you really know that.
Thanks for the info! They don't really tell you anything on the papers you send in, you just fill out your info, send them a check and wait, so I wasn't quite sure what the procedure was, but what you said makes a lot of sense. Thank you!
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