No More Excuses
Yesterday I had an excuse not to call the Erie County Orphans' Court and find out what my next steps were, I left the phone number at home. But today, I remembered to bring it with me to work, so I had no excuse. Around lunchtime, I entered the number in my cell phone...but I couldn't bring myself to hit "call". Maybe I was afraid the person on the other end of the line was going to tell me there was no hope or tell me that I was just another nuisance adoptee trying to make more work for them. Either way, I knew I couldn't call from work. I don't know why, it's not like I work in some huge office with hundreds of strangers running around. I guess I was just afraid that whatever this person at the court house was going to tell me was going to be upsetting and, as most adoptees know, we always have to look like we have it together. So, the next logical place? From my car in the bank parking lot, of course. (I'm not totally crazy, I actually DID have to make a deposit!)
The lady was pretty nice. She is mailing me a packet of information. It sounds like what I read was correct, you pay $150 and they basically search for your birth mom and contact her to ask if they can share her information. I asked the woman "Can you just fax me this information?" and she replied "Well...are you here in town?" I told her I wasn't in town and she said she really needed to mail it to me. Later, I talked to a friend of mine who used to work at the court house in Erie and she told me that they do in fact have fax machines, but you have to enter a ten digit code before faxing to a long distance number. Forgive me if I'm jumping to conclusions here, but it seems like this lady was just being lazy. I find that unbelievable - someone is looking for a lost family member and you can't even fax them a form? UGH!
In my conversation with her, she asked me something that I had never thought of before. She said "Do you know what name you were given at birth?" Um, I had a name at birth? On my papers, it just says "Baby Girl Lynn" and I think my mom told me once that my foster parents gave me the name Lynn, but it had never occurred to me that I might have had a name at birth. I have no idea how things like that work, but the woman on the phone certainly made it sound like everyone was given a name at birth. Did I really have a first name and a last name at birth? That is really weird to me. I guess that for the most part, I have never even considered that my life started until I was 4 months old and lived with my parents. I mean, I have no pictures, I don't know what I was like as a newborn, no one that I know saw my first smile, my first dirty diaper, or the first time I rolled over, so in my mind, it is as if it never happened. I just showed up as a 4 month old child.
This is so bizarre. What if my birth mom did name me? And, if she ever thinks of me at all, what if she thinks of my other name? Maybe to her I'm "Jessica" or "Susan" or "Katherine". WHAT?!?! How weird is that?! This is really messing with my head.
The lady was pretty nice. She is mailing me a packet of information. It sounds like what I read was correct, you pay $150 and they basically search for your birth mom and contact her to ask if they can share her information. I asked the woman "Can you just fax me this information?" and she replied "Well...are you here in town?" I told her I wasn't in town and she said she really needed to mail it to me. Later, I talked to a friend of mine who used to work at the court house in Erie and she told me that they do in fact have fax machines, but you have to enter a ten digit code before faxing to a long distance number. Forgive me if I'm jumping to conclusions here, but it seems like this lady was just being lazy. I find that unbelievable - someone is looking for a lost family member and you can't even fax them a form? UGH!
In my conversation with her, she asked me something that I had never thought of before. She said "Do you know what name you were given at birth?" Um, I had a name at birth? On my papers, it just says "Baby Girl Lynn" and I think my mom told me once that my foster parents gave me the name Lynn, but it had never occurred to me that I might have had a name at birth. I have no idea how things like that work, but the woman on the phone certainly made it sound like everyone was given a name at birth. Did I really have a first name and a last name at birth? That is really weird to me. I guess that for the most part, I have never even considered that my life started until I was 4 months old and lived with my parents. I mean, I have no pictures, I don't know what I was like as a newborn, no one that I know saw my first smile, my first dirty diaper, or the first time I rolled over, so in my mind, it is as if it never happened. I just showed up as a 4 month old child.
This is so bizarre. What if my birth mom did name me? And, if she ever thinks of me at all, what if she thinks of my other name? Maybe to her I'm "Jessica" or "Susan" or "Katherine". WHAT?!?! How weird is that?! This is really messing with my head.
posted by everyscarisabridge at 5:00 PM
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