Read A Book
I definitely don't have my act together enough to even pretend that I am able to give good advice to other adoptees, however, just in the few short weeks that I've revisited this part of my life, I can tell you one thing for sure. Every adoptee should read a book that is for adoptees. Not a book that is about adoptees, one that is for them. I started with "20 Things Adoptive Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew" by Sherrie Eldridge, however, I am in the process of reading "20 Life Transforming Choices Adoptees Need To Make", also by Eldridge, and I'd suggest you read that one first.
Reading a book about adoption took me from having never had more than a 15 minute conversation with anyone about adoption to having an entire blog about adoption. I have already written and saved drafts of enough thoughts and ideas to fill my next 10 posts. And to think that a month ago, I had no idea that I even had opinions and feelings about all of this.
Reading about adoption for the first time was nothing short of exhilarating. I just finished the first two chapters of "20 Life Transforming Choices..." and it is so intense that at times I have to literally put the book down, look away from it, take a breath and calm myself down because my heart is racing so much. It's like bizarro world from Seinfeld. How on earth does Sherrie Eldridge know everything about me?...
Adoption was no big deal to me in my growing-up years. It was kind of like a door with a peephole: The only times I peeked through it were when someone asked my nationality or when I had to fill out medical forms.
I was really born! I wasn't an alien who was dropped into my adoptive parents' arms. I was a real baby who experienced a real birth from a real mother at a real time of the day. For me, that tidbit of information was like a meal to a starving woman.
Like many adoptees, I have "antennae" that can sense rejection a mile away.
We are not off in the corner having a pity party. Heavens, that's the last thing we would ever do. We present a strong facade instead. We are the perfectionists of the world. The overachievers. The outwardly successful ones.
Dang, she really does know it all. However as uneasy as it is to finally come to terms with the fact that you have these feelings, there is something really comforting about knowing that you aren't the only one, and you aren't crazy. So read a book and I bet you will be surprised what you'll learn about yourself.
Reading a book about adoption took me from having never had more than a 15 minute conversation with anyone about adoption to having an entire blog about adoption. I have already written and saved drafts of enough thoughts and ideas to fill my next 10 posts. And to think that a month ago, I had no idea that I even had opinions and feelings about all of this.
Reading about adoption for the first time was nothing short of exhilarating. I just finished the first two chapters of "20 Life Transforming Choices..." and it is so intense that at times I have to literally put the book down, look away from it, take a breath and calm myself down because my heart is racing so much. It's like bizarro world from Seinfeld. How on earth does Sherrie Eldridge know everything about me?...
Adoption was no big deal to me in my growing-up years. It was kind of like a door with a peephole: The only times I peeked through it were when someone asked my nationality or when I had to fill out medical forms.
I was really born! I wasn't an alien who was dropped into my adoptive parents' arms. I was a real baby who experienced a real birth from a real mother at a real time of the day. For me, that tidbit of information was like a meal to a starving woman.
Like many adoptees, I have "antennae" that can sense rejection a mile away.
We are not off in the corner having a pity party. Heavens, that's the last thing we would ever do. We present a strong facade instead. We are the perfectionists of the world. The overachievers. The outwardly successful ones.
Dang, she really does know it all. However as uneasy as it is to finally come to terms with the fact that you have these feelings, there is something really comforting about knowing that you aren't the only one, and you aren't crazy. So read a book and I bet you will be surprised what you'll learn about yourself.
posted by everyscarisabridge at 2:34 PM
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