Saturday, October 27, 2007

The Letter Arrives

My letter from S arrived today. Honestly, I really haven't had much anxiety about it. Haven't been watching for the mailman or running out to get the mail or anything like that. After waiting almost 2 years to hear anything since I started the process of trying to contact her, I had learned this wasn't a process to rush.

She wrote me a 4 page letter and included 2 pages of medical history. I read it right away, even though we were on our way out the door. The long recap:

She is glad I contacted her, and says based on the pic I sent that we look alike. She told me the story about her life around the time when she got pregnant with me - she drank too much, and - surprise! Here I am! It's funny, because ever since I was kid, I've always thought that was the case. I have no idea why or where that came from, but I've always just felt like that was the case. She said she wanted to keep me, but couldn't, because she didn't make enough money and was living with her parents.

After I was born, she never saw me. That's probably what I was most curious about - what exactly happened to me after I was born. I didn't ask her specifically about this, but she ended up answering me anyway. She said that for the first few years, she was upset when she saw an infant or a toddler, wondering if it was me, and that she always remembered my birthday and wondered what i was doing.

Ok, weirdest thing in the whole letter: the doctor told her I had a slight cleft palatte but that it was correctable. I'm still trying to figure that one out. (And I've spent a good portion of the past 24 hours staring at my nose and lip in the mirror.)

She had thought about trying to find me over the past few years, then the letter from the courthouse came.

She loves to try new recipes and cross stitch. I also thought it was funny that she wrote: "I hate people who call you honey or sweetie". Seriously, I couldn't agree more. I need to warn her about the south. Also, I have a half brother who is 21.

Most exciting part of the letter: I have the last names for all of my grandparents! I've never had even a remote interest in geneologies, but now I've spent the past day looking things up. German and Swedish it is. A little Irish, too, she wrote. Oktoberfest, Ikea and an Irish car bomb. I'll take it.

She doesn't want to use the court as a middleman and included her address. Seems like she's open to correspondence and possibly meeting one day. Her husband and mom are supportive of whatever she decides. No pictures included, because they aren't a "picture taking family" and don't have any recent ones.

Lots of medical info - including a grandparent that had rheumatoid arthritis, like me. That would have been really great to know about ten years ago. Nothing else too terribly worrisome in the medical history, but there's a lot of stuff in there. I've spent a lot of time googling things since I got this letter :)

I'm still digesting all this info and have probably read and re-read the letter at least 10 times. She wrote that she had to re-read my letter a bunch of times before she could process all of it as well. Anyway, still thinking about everything and if/how to respond. All in all, I couldn't have asked for more.


Blogger Thandi said...


11:52 AM  

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