Friday, April 07, 2006


I finally got a phone call from the lady at the courthouse today. I left her a message about a week ago and she never called me back, which is fine. She seems like a horribly overworked person, so I hate to put pressure on her by constantly calling. When I talked to her today, she seemed like she didn't even remember talking to me previously - she reintroduced herself to me.

Anyhow, she told me that she went through my file and that my mom was not from Erie county, so she was writing a letter to the county where she did live to find out of they have any marriage records for my mom. She is also writing to the agency that handled my adoption because she said they generally have a lot more information. It was good to get an update. She said it would be at least a few more weeks before she heard back, which is fine.

The whole situation is frustrating for a number of reasons. First of all, this lady knows who my mother is. She knows her name. Besides just a name, this woman, who is unrelated to the situation entirely, probably knows more details about her than I do. It just seems wrong - a random, unrelated person is allowed to know about my history, but I'm not. Its like someone dangling something that belongs to you right above your head, just out of reach.

Secondly, I tend to be a bit of a control freak sometimes and it is killing me that this lady is researching all of this stuff, when I can guarantee that me or someone I know could do a much quicker, more thorough job. I've got a friend with some connections through work and if she had my birthmom's name, could probably locate her in 30 seconds. Strangely enough, this same friend worked in the office of the lawyer who handled my adoption AND the court house at one point. If I weren't a law abiding citizen.... =)

But anyway, its good to at least get an update and know that progress is being made. The whole situation is serving as a good reminder that God's timing isn't always the timing we want, but its better in the long run.


Blogger Lady said...

Been wondering how the search was progressing.

It stinks big time that perfect strangers get to know information EVERY person, by law, should be entitled to.

In spite of thatI'm glad you got an update.

11:07 AM  
Blogger said...

Don't be law abiding....See if your friend can get the name for you.

7:43 AM  
Blogger Mary said...

Hi, just found your blog via Jana's ("Birthmother; Reprise"). Two of my three siblings are adopted, and I plan to adopt someday.

I think what you are doing and how you are going about it is great. I pray God's peace and love will attend you every step of the way!!

7:09 AM  
Blogger Daughter of 2 women said...

I love your blog. Your thoughts and feelings really resonate with me. I love the Finding Balance and the Double Standard posts. Don't you just want to scream at APs sometimes "Why don't you get it!"

1:35 PM  
Blogger Daughter of 2 women said...

Seriously, the more I read your blog the more convinced I am that I have found my long lost twin. I just started my own blog to talk about my own adoption, because I certainly could not talk to my parents about it! I can't wait to hear more about your parents reaction. Do they know that you are searching? Believe me, I will be blogging about my parents' reaction. LOVE your blog.

2:00 PM  

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