It's A Constant Process, This Is

I started this post a few days ago and didn't really know where I was going with it. It was just a list of things I was thankful for, saved as a draft. Then I went to church tonight; we're finishing up a series called Turning Corners, and tonight was the last part of the series. It's making sense now...

I'm turning a corner. I'm going through something big right now, and I'm not going to be the same when I'm done and I've made the decision to learn from all of this, no matter what the outcome is. For the past few weeks, a line from a Bradley Hathaway poem has stuck with me: "It's a constant process, this is. Growing you into the person you are to become." It is a constant process, it just happens to be a little more intense right now than usual. Tonight we talked about things that can make you lose sight of what God is trying to teach you, and one of the things discussed was that instead of complaining, we should be thankful. Complaining is easy, but when you are thankful it puts things in perspective.

So here is the list I made, and looking back over it, it makes me see how lucky I really am:

My mom didn't abort me and she took care of herself while she was pregnant with me.

I have at least a little bit of information about my birth family. Some people know nothing, or worse yet are never told they were adopted.

My mom and dad took me to church when I was a kid - without my faith I think I would be a really bitter, angry person.

I'm thankful for all of the people that I've met over the course of my life and for everyone I've yet to meet.

I'm so thankful that my parents never introduced me as their "adopted daughter" or treated me any differently than my brother and sister, who weren't adopted.

I'm thankful I was adopted in a county where searching for your family is so easy. I've not had to pay exorbitant fees, and hopefully I won't have to wait for years for an answer.

I'm thankful for the kids that I'll adopt one day - if I weren't adopted myself I'm not sure that I would have considered adoption.

I'm thankful for all the lessons I've learned by being adopted: Every person has a purpose. People aren't mistakes. God loves everyone and can use anyone, no matter where they came from. God saw a need in this world and is using me and my specific abilities to fill that need.

When I think of all these things, I'm most thankful for the impact my adoption has had on my faith in God. The two are intertwined in such a way that I don't know who I would be without one or the other. Would I believe in God if I hadn't been adopted? Could I handle the concept of being adopted without God? I don't know. But I do know that I have a choice - to be bitter and angry which accomplishes nothing or to be thankful and try to learn something from my circumstances. It's not cut and dry - sometimes I am angry, bitter, sad and jealous. But I'm trying to learn.