The Group is Growing
I mentioned a few weeks ago that I am starting a group at my church for adoptees/adoptive parents/birth moms. The time is drawing near for our first meeting on March 8th.
So far, including my husband and I, there are nine people in our group. I've been emailing everyone as they join to find out how they have been affected by adoption. Up until today, it was all adoptive parents - a couple who adopted from Russia, a woman who adopted from China, and the other group leaders who had an open adoption in the US. I was especially excited about the people who adopted from Russia, because we've talked about adopting from Russia and I would love the opportunity to talk with someone who has done it before.
However, since signups began a week or two ago, I've been a little discouraged, because I felt like it was going to end up being a parenting class, populated with people who couldn't have children and that, through adoption, have been able to start a family, which is really wonderful, but I'm at a little bit of a different stage in my thoughts about adoption at this point. I used to think that way, that adoption was a win-win solution to a problem - a baby that was an accident, and family that wanted a child. Hook the two up and every one wins. And I think it can be a really great situation for adoptive parents and children, don't get me wrong. But it seems that there is a lot more to it. Parents are angry and disappointed that they can't have kids before they land on the adoption solution. Mothers have to make a painful decision on behalf of their children. And the kids sometimes have a lot of mixed emotions about the whole thing.
Today I got an email that another couple had signed up for the group. I emailed them and just got their response back - they are just about to start the international adoption process. The story sounded pretty typical as I read through the email, and then I got to the last sentence,
"Oh, and my husband was also adopted, as was his sister."
I am so excited and relieved that not only will there be another couple there that doesn't already have kids, but there will also be another adoptee!!
So far, including my husband and I, there are nine people in our group. I've been emailing everyone as they join to find out how they have been affected by adoption. Up until today, it was all adoptive parents - a couple who adopted from Russia, a woman who adopted from China, and the other group leaders who had an open adoption in the US. I was especially excited about the people who adopted from Russia, because we've talked about adopting from Russia and I would love the opportunity to talk with someone who has done it before.
However, since signups began a week or two ago, I've been a little discouraged, because I felt like it was going to end up being a parenting class, populated with people who couldn't have children and that, through adoption, have been able to start a family, which is really wonderful, but I'm at a little bit of a different stage in my thoughts about adoption at this point. I used to think that way, that adoption was a win-win solution to a problem - a baby that was an accident, and family that wanted a child. Hook the two up and every one wins. And I think it can be a really great situation for adoptive parents and children, don't get me wrong. But it seems that there is a lot more to it. Parents are angry and disappointed that they can't have kids before they land on the adoption solution. Mothers have to make a painful decision on behalf of their children. And the kids sometimes have a lot of mixed emotions about the whole thing.
Today I got an email that another couple had signed up for the group. I emailed them and just got their response back - they are just about to start the international adoption process. The story sounded pretty typical as I read through the email, and then I got to the last sentence,
"Oh, and my husband was also adopted, as was his sister."
I am so excited and relieved that not only will there be another couple there that doesn't already have kids, but there will also be another adoptee!!
posted by everyscarisabridge at 5:18 PM
1 Comments:
Good luck with your new group! I think forming a group as you are is a very positive step. I have been lucky to live nearly a large city that has a large chapter of CUB. Our group has adoptees and birth parents - and an occasional adoptive parent. I think our mix works well.
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