A Face
I called the investigator who is working on my case this week - last time we spoke she had told me to call her back after three weeks, which would be today, but I called on Monday thinking that I wouldn't actually catch her on the phone and I'd have to leave a voicemail that she probably wouldn't get until later in the week. She answered after the first ring. I told her who I said I was just calling back like she said I could. I feel like I am doing something illegal by asking about this stuff, like I'm going to get her fired or something, even though I know it isn't true. She said she hadn't gotten to go through my stuff yet but she had my file right there on her desk in front of her. How weird is it that this lady is allowed to know who my mother is, but I'm not? I said something stupid like "Ok, well, I was just calling....to call" and she said "It's ok, I understand". And I think she does.
Curiousity got the best of me last night and I started digging around on the internet. I'm reading a book called Birthright by Jean Strauss - it is REALLY good - and it has tons of info and personal accounts of search and reunion so it motivated me to do a little research of my own. Nothing earth shattering. I looked at some pictures of the hospital where I was born. I used classmates.com and found two sets of people with the same last name who would have been the same ages as my mother and uncle and attended the schools that they would have attended. But I'm not going to start calling random people or anything. This deal with the courthouse seems like its going to take forever, and it will be a big test of my patience, but I'm willing to wait. I just needed something to pass the time.
One thing I did find was a picture of the doctor who delivered me. It's the first face I have to add to my story. I had searched for the doctor online a few years ago, but I only had first initials and a last name, and had a bit of a hard time narrowing it down, but I found him for sure last night. It is so weird to look at his picture and know that he is one of the handful of people in the world who has seen me and my birthmom together. He saw me during that mytery period of my life between birth and four months. He probably handed me to her after I was born. I wonder if he knew that she wasn't going to keep me. He is also the one who gave me a 10/10 on my APGAR test after I was born. Apparently they use this scale to rate the health of babies one minute after they are born. I think I've only shown my adoption papers to three mothers, and all three of them exlaimed "You got a 10 on your APGAR? No one gets a 10 on their APGAR!" What can I say? I was a child prodigy. =)
Curiousity got the best of me last night and I started digging around on the internet. I'm reading a book called Birthright by Jean Strauss - it is REALLY good - and it has tons of info and personal accounts of search and reunion so it motivated me to do a little research of my own. Nothing earth shattering. I looked at some pictures of the hospital where I was born. I used classmates.com and found two sets of people with the same last name who would have been the same ages as my mother and uncle and attended the schools that they would have attended. But I'm not going to start calling random people or anything. This deal with the courthouse seems like its going to take forever, and it will be a big test of my patience, but I'm willing to wait. I just needed something to pass the time.
One thing I did find was a picture of the doctor who delivered me. It's the first face I have to add to my story. I had searched for the doctor online a few years ago, but I only had first initials and a last name, and had a bit of a hard time narrowing it down, but I found him for sure last night. It is so weird to look at his picture and know that he is one of the handful of people in the world who has seen me and my birthmom together. He saw me during that mytery period of my life between birth and four months. He probably handed me to her after I was born. I wonder if he knew that she wasn't going to keep me. He is also the one who gave me a 10/10 on my APGAR test after I was born. Apparently they use this scale to rate the health of babies one minute after they are born. I think I've only shown my adoption papers to three mothers, and all three of them exlaimed "You got a 10 on your APGAR? No one gets a 10 on their APGAR!" What can I say? I was a child prodigy. =)
posted by everyscarisabridge at 5:24 AM
5 Comments:
First - a 10! I had a 0---lol i was dead when i was born. That explains a lot...lol
Okay - secondly - OH MY GOODNESS! you have a name and you saw the highschool, you have names of people who may have know her and all that? wow - girl, you need to get "Nancy Drewing" (as i call it) and be the detective. You have so much more information than most people have. Call these people and tell them you are looking for someone, you would be suprised how much information people will give out to help a total stranger. I called about a possible birthfather and found out his phone nmber - i called him in California and said i knew this girl (my biomom) and she had a child and i was looking for possible birthfathers, doing some investigative work. He told me more than i wanted to know about their relationship and said he could not have been the father. He wanted me to call and tell him if i found out where she was....etc. etc. WOW - little did he know I was the child! lol
Be brave - Be bold - have a story down and stick with it and you will wind up with some valuable information....maybe even where her parents still live, a relative, a friend that is still in contact, etc.
I keep reading - waiting for that excited blog entry about how you have located her and all that follows!
How trippy to have found the doctor who delivered you! I wonder how many adoptees have found their doctor.
When I spoke to the SW who told me that my son was searching for me, I remember at some point that she said my son called her quite often. The search for me took 9 months, no irony there, right?
When I told my son what the SW said about how often he called, he got very defensive and said that he didn't call that often. He so didn't want to show that I mattered at that point!
Sounds like you are getting close. How freaky to know someone can open a file though and find out names and details - about you - but you can't. Not quite right, eh?
Nice post, good to read, thanks!
Hugs,
Cookie
Hi Petunia-
I realized that the way I phrased things was a little confusing. I don't actually have a name. I was just searching classmates for people who would have been the same age as my mom and uncle and found a couple of sets of people who had the same last names as each other. Haha - one of those desparate attempts to take things into your own hands, when you really have next to nothing to go on.
Cookie-
Thanks so much for all your insightful comments - I don't know what it is, but everything you write makes me simle = )
Can you perhaps tell how much I love my son and how very grateful and blessed I feel to be reunited? I hope so! Thanks, I am glad to make you smile!
Well, that's a bummer----but i still know how you feel. I looked at everything - looked into every lead i could think of. My non-ID infor said my biofather was part of a certain church and there is only one of those churches in my city --i called them and asked if they had records of all their members and if i could see them. I also called the maternity home and asked questions and went to the hospital.....no one wanted to answer any questions. Keep pluggin' away!
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