Sunday, March 26, 2006


You are your stories. You are the product of all the stories you have heard and lived - and of many you have never heard. They have shaped how you see yourself, the world and your place in it - Daniel Taylor

This was written in our program at church today and it struck me. I like it a lot, but its a little scary at the same time. I completely agree that a person's stories have a big impact on who they are and how they see themselves. That makes searching for my birth mom all the more intimidating, since the "story" that I have made up for myself to explain where I came from could be completely wrong. So if stories "shape how you see yourself, the world and your place in it" and someone comes along and changes my story, am I going to feel differently about myself, the world and my place in it? Then again, I suppose that having my story changed would create a story in and of itself. weird....


Blogger Cookie said...

Every adoptee I know who has been reunited only feels more complete -with less of a void in their life.

They don't usually become another person, but, just understand better why they are the way they are. Does that make any sense?

We are always evolving and changing, even if we try to remain in one place, life changes around us. Change is scary, but it also is an opportunity to grow. Honestly, no matter what you find it will work out and be fine. Not immediately maybe, but with time.

If you regret your search, you will be the first person I have met who does. You may not like all you find - but at least you will know!

You have such a chance to educate people in your group - use it - don't be afraid to speak up and tell the truth.

10:03 PM  
Blogger petunia said...

There is this NEED to find them. And Cookie is so right. Even though I didn't want a big relationship with my bios - there was a need to know and i felt there was a need that my biomom should know I was okay. It helped both of us. She has become a more relaxed person, even though she hasn't said anything about it I know she feels good about her life now. I feel like the gap was filled and i didn't realize I had almost put my life on hold in a way (just emotionally maybe) and now I feel I can go ahead. It's hard to explain really - but no matter what you won't regret it. It will change you even if it's just in a slight probably won't notice how you were before until after the reunion. (does that make sense?)

7:48 AM  
Blogger Marie Jarrell said...

just found your blog. i'm so glad you're here. i hope your search is a success. i'm an older adoptee (56) and i just found my birth family in 2004. in some ways it helped (to see others who sort of looked like me) but in other ways i was disappointed because my mother died long ago and no one knew who my father was. my siblings aren't interested in me (too much time gone by), and my aunt, who i loved instantly, died eight months later of cancer. so, i'm still very lonely. i will visit your blog regularly. i hope you visit mine sometime at i just started it today.-ecb

4:43 PM  
Blogger Mia said...

Cookie is right, I haven't ever met anyone who regrets searching either.

I think how our story changes is what makes life interesting. You posed a good question to ponder though. It will probably keep me up tonight! lol

3:58 PM  
Blogger Daughter of 2 women said...

I know I am so glad that I have the answers and the reality. Unfortunately, my birthmother was dead so I never got to meet her. I did grieve all over again when I found the truth. I don't know if it was because I was grieving the loss of my imaginary story or if I was grieving the loss of my birthmother. Probably some of both. Hope you get the answers soon.

1:31 PM  

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