Monday, May 22, 2006

Back in Action's been a while. I've not fallen off the face of the earth. My life has been so crazy for the past few weeks that, no kidding, I had to go back and read my last blog post here because I honestly couldn't even remember what the last update on the search was. This search went from being something I thought about almost daily to something that didn't even cross my mind for over a month, because I've been so preoccupied with some things that were happening at work. Luckily, all the junk at work is almost over now, the stress level is (slowly) dropping, and I have an entire week off of work before I start a new job next Tuesday.

When I started writing this post, it was just going to be a "I'm still here, still waiting" post. But right in the middle of writing it, who should give me a call? The lady from the courthouse =) This is how out of touch I am right now - when I saw the number from Erie on my caller ID, it didn't even occur to me that it was related to the adoption search. I just let it go to voicemail.

But, I called her right back and here's the deal: She had written to my agency to get some more info. She told me she had "a lot" of info. "Loads" of info. She began telling me what the info was about, and it is exactly the same info that I already have. That's ok, I'm glad she has that info to go on now, not that it's much. She confirmed that my mom is not from Erie County and is from McKean county where I was born. She said that because my mom was from another county than where I was adopted, she did not come to the courthouse to relinquish her rights, she just signed the papers and mailed them in. Because of this, the judge didn't get the opportunity to ask some general questions that they usually ask parents who are relinquishing their rights. They don't even have a date of birth for my mom, which is making it really hard for them to locate her, because they said her name is pretty common.

However, upon further research, she found that there are only four people in McKean County with this last name, so she's mailing letters to all of them today to see if they have any updated info. She can't tell them why she needs the info, she just has to hope that they cooperate.

I did learn something new, though. My placement with my parents was delayed a few weeks because they thought I had a hearing problem. And all this time I thought my hearing problems were a result of going to all those concerts...haha.

She also told me that it is really unusual that there is no father listed on any of my papers. Apparently in 1971 they passed a law that said that the only acceptable reasons for a father not to be listed are either she was drunk or really didn't know who he was, or she was raped. Ah, the pleasant circumstances of my life.

So, that's the story, she said at least another few weeks until she has any more updates.


Blogger Mia said...

Glad to see you back! I am also really happy to hear they have some leads on your birth mom.

My birth father is not listed on my OBC either. Don't jump to any conclusions just yet. If she didn't want him on there she could have simply said she didn't know who he was. You just never know.

2:55 PM  
Blogger Cookie said...

Me too - glad to see you back! I was wondering though I've been scarce lately too!

I agree with Mia - don't necessarily believe what this woman says is true. I think there could be many reasons - other than what she said - as to why your birth dad is not listed.

10:56 PM  
Blogger momseekingpeace said...

Yip I agree to, I did not list my sons father for other reasons.

9:51 AM  
Anonymous Nicole Humphrey said...

Glad to see you posted an update but you disappeared again. I hope all is well for you and that you don't give up...

My search was long and grueling but it paid off at the end!

Hope everything is well...

2:16 PM  
Blogger Marie Jarrell said...

I feel your pain and agree with Mia, Cookie, and MSP on that. My confidential intermediary said that my mother had only put a "D" where my father's name should have been on my OBC. But my mom knew perfectly well who he was because after I found my aunt (she was already dying of cancer and my mom was already long dead by that time), she told me I was the result of an extra marital affair, which could have ruined some lives. What am I supposed to do with an initial? No clues whatsoever from anyone.

11:56 AM  

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